Tifa's Pregnancy
by Devil Hunter 64
Summary: [ClotiYuffentineZerith][OneShots] Tifa's pregnant and this is what Cloud went through during those 9 months. Characters might be OOC at times. I don't why i rated it M. I also added VincentxYuffie and ZackxAeris versions because they were requested.
1. Cloud's Story

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy

The characters might be OOC at times except for Cloud because that's how a guy would act with a pregnant woman, because we all know every guy fears a pregnant woman, and if you don't...then your a fool. Anyway, i hope you enjoy Clouds torment. Read and Review.

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****March**

Cloud was doing the same thing he did every morning recently; standing by Tifa as she threw up into the toilet. Tifa had just entered the morning sickness phase of pregnancy.

"Ugh...I hope you realize this is entirely your fault," Tifa said getting up from in front of the toilet.

"How is this my fault?"

"You're the one who knocked me up!"

"You're the one who asked for it"

"That still doesn't change the fact that you did!" yelled Tifa walking out of the room.

"Just eight more months and this shit will end," mumbled Cloud.

**April**

One of Cloud's deliveries ran late and he's now trying to sneak into the house while Tifa's asleep. Being as stealthy as he is he figured he could just slip into their room and into the bed without waking her up. He approached the door to their room and placed his ear to the door to check if the coast was clear. When all he heard was steady breathing he progressed to open the door, when he opened it he was staring straight into the glazed eyes of a very angry Tifa holding a blanket and pillow.

"You're sleeping on the couch tonight," said Tifa handing him the blanket and pillow.

"But I couldn't help it, my delivery ran late," Cloud tried to explain but Tifa as in no mood for excuses.

"Couch!" yelled Tifa pointing to downstairs to the living room.

"But-"

_SLAM_

Tifa slammed the door in his face and locked it leaving him no choice, but to sleep on the couch.

**May**

"Tifa's pregnancy is starting to cost me a lot of money, and I don't just mean food," Cloud complained to Vincent.

"What did she do?"

"She threw my fenrir in the lake!"

"Why'd she do that?"

"I don't know I was too afraid to ask."

"Just take it like a man Cloud."

"This is coming from the man who complained to me when Yuffie was pregnant."

"No comment" mumbled Vincent as he walked away.

**June**

Cloud returned home from one of his deliveries and walked to him and Tifa's room when he heard a frustrated groan come from inside the room. He slowly opened the door seeing Tifa trying to fit into her shorts. She noticed him once he was completely in the room and turned to look at him with a very depressed face.

"I'm fat" moaned Tifa as she fell back on the bed.

"No your not it's just because of the baby, you'll be back to normal in a few months" said Cloud sitting beside Tifa and embracing her.

"I hope" breathed Tifa as she leaned back into Clouds chest.

"I promise" said Cloud kissing her on the head then leaning back to get comfortable.

**July**

Tifa was out shopping with Yuffie to look at baby things and all that other good stuff.

"What do you think about this" said Yuffie holding up a beautiful shirt that would hide her stomach nicely.

"It's gorgeous, but really expensive" said Tifa looking at the price tag.

"Didn't Cloud leave you his wallet?"

"Yeah, but I don't wanna spend all of his money."

"Come on, what's the use of having your husbands wallet if you don't spend his money?"

"Ummm...Alright, but too much more of his money."

When she returned home a few hours later she had quite a few bags with her; she gave Cloud his wallet and handed him the receipt, and when he looked at it...he fainted.

**August**

"You son of a bitch!"

"Tifa take a deep breath, put the buster sword down, and step away from the doctor," ordered Cloud.

"But he called me fat"

"No didn't, I simply said the baby is healthy and your gaining weight nicely," said the doctor slowly inching his way from Tifa.

"I'm very sorry about this," said Cloud while pulling Tifa out of the room.

**September**

"How are you holding up Cloud?" asked Vincent.

"I think the worst is over."

"How many months pregnant is she?"

"Seven"

"You poor naïve fool you" said Vincent walking away shaking his head.

"Thanks, you've made me feel so much better" yelled Cloud sarcasm dripping from his voice.

**October**

"What are you eating Tifa?" asked Cloud when he saw her put something that looked like chocolate in her mouth.

"Nothing" Tifa's voice was muffled through the chocolate bar in her mouth.

"I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me your not eating chocolate."

"I'm not eating chocolate" again her voice was muffled because the chocolate was still in her mouth.

"Mmhmm, give me ALL the chocolate," said Cloud sticking his hand out.

Tifa got up and began walking through the house getting all the chocolate she hid throughout the house; when she came back she had about 20 chocolate bars in her hand and gave them to Cloud.

"Good, now we can give them out at Halloween," said Cloud.

"I fucking hate you!" yelled Tifa who then stormed up to their room.

"I love you too dear" said Cloud to no one in particular.

**November**

Tifa had gone into labor and after Cloud tripping and panicking they finally arrived at the hospital.

"AAAAAAAAAAGH!" is all that could be heard coming from Tifa's mouth.

"All right Mrs. Strife push" said the doctor.

After a few hours Tifa gave birth to a baby boy which they named Zack.

"Why is there a cast on your hand Cloud?" Tifa asked.

"Well while you were in labor, every time you squeezed my hand so hard you broke it."

"I'm sorry Cloud"

"It's ok; I knew how strong you are and should have seen it coming."

"True"

"Those had to be the longest 9 months of my life."

"Same here, but at least it's over now."

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And there you go. This is just a funny idea for a ficthat came into my head and i figured i'd post it. I hope you enjoyed it. REVIEW IT PLEASE. 


	2. Vincent's Story

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy.

Because of a few requests i've gotten I wrote about what Vincent had to go through during(horror music sounds in backround) Yuffie's pregnancy. It was a little tough to write because i used most of my good ideas on Tifa and Cloud's story since i didn't knowI would be writing this one. Oh well, it might not be as funny as the other one, or it might we'll just have to see what you think; enjoy. Read and Review.

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**January**

"Vinny, there's something I have to tell you..." Yuffie stated while walking over to him.

"What is it?"

"I...I...I'm pregnant" She then looked into his eyes hoping for an answer but only saw shock in his crimson eyes now as big as dinner plates.

"Vinny...are you ok?"

_THUD_

He fainted

**February**

"Vinny; you really need to add some color to your wardrobe," said Yuffie while examining his cape.

"I prefer black and red"

"Come on let's go shopping, it'll be fun."

"I would rather not"

"Let's go"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes!"

"No"

"Fine, unless you want _this _to happen," said Yuffie grabbing a picture of them on their wedding day then a pair of scissors then acting like she was going to cut him out of the picture.

"Ok, let's go" said Vincent as he grabbed Yuffie's wrist and pulled her out the door to go shopping, and the whole time she's singing 'I have the power'.

**March**

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you now," Yuffie yelled at Vincent with the Conformer held over her head.

"Because you love me, and I can't help but fear for my life at this point," whimpered Vincent as he slowly backed away from the enraged Yuffie.

"Fine, I'll let it go for now, but your gonna get it if you make any reference to my weight again" spat Yuffie as she walked to the kitchen.

"Help me" Vincent whispered to no one.

He has fought menacing monsters and seen things nobody should ever have to see in their lifetime and not been the slightest bit afraid, but Yuffie's temper is by far the most terrifying thing he's ever seen.

**April**

"Yuffie, do you know when Cloud and Tifa are going to get here?"

"Umm...in about five minutes I think"

"_I had better hide Death Penalty and the Conformer, because lord knows Cloud will say something stupid_" thought Vincent.

When Vincent came back down stairs he found Yuffie waiting on the couch actually reading a book. "What are you reading?"

"Pregnancy through Motherhood for Dummies" said Yuffie with a little smirk on her face.

They then hear someone knocking on the door so Vincent gets it and let's Cloud and Tifa into the house. Once they were in Cloud spotted Yuffie and began to open his mouth but was interrupted.

"Not a word Cloud or you'll regret it" said Yuffie without even looking up from the book.

After hearing this Cloud immediately shut his mouth making Tifa and Vincent laugh.

**May**

It was their anniversary and Vincent decided to cook a huge meal for Yuffie and himself. He made so much food he probably would have cooked the refrigerator if he could. Yuffie had no idea he was doing this, but he clued in Tifa and she took Yuffie out for the day to give Vincent time to prepare everything. Just as he finished setting out all the food he heard the front door open and close so he hastily went into the kitchen and waited for Yuffie to enter the dining room.

"Oh my god, look at all the food" he heard Yuffie say through the door.

"Happy Anniversary" said Vincent coming out of the kitchen then going over to hug his wife.

"Did you make all of this by yourself?"

"Yeah, but I wouldn't have had time if Tifa hadn't distracted you all day" said Vincent with a smirk playing at his lips.

"So THAT'S why she was so desperate to get me to go shopping with her" said Yuffie snapping her fingers.

Vincent then pulled her into a passionate kiss, but they both reluctantly pulled away remembering the food was getting cold.

**June**

"Hey Cloud; you wanna switch wives for about four months?"

"Oh, come on Vincent it can't be that bad..."

"Her mood swings are driving me crazy; she's happy, and then she's sad, and then she's happy again, and then mad. I usually end up hurt by the time she reaches mad too" said Vincent with his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry Vincent, but I don't know what to tell you."

"I hope you never have to go through what I am, and if you do then I hope it's not as bad" Vincent said while walking away.

**July**

"Umm...Yuffie...what are you doing?" asked Vincent as he watched her on the couch.

"Poking my stomach" she answered innocently.

"...Why...?"

"I don't know" Yuffie said then got up and walked away.

"I...don't even know how I should react to this" Vincent said to himself as he sat there just staring into space thinking.

**August**

"What is this song all about; can't figure any lyrics out. How do the words to it go; I wish you'd tell me I don't know" Yuffie cheerfully sang 'Smells like Nirvana by Weird Al Yankovic'.

"Yuffie, why are you singing?"

"Because I'm happy" replied Yuffie.

"_Oh boy, I know what's coming next_" thought Vincent.

"That's good"

Yuffie's face then dropped into one of sadness, "Vinny...do you think I'll be a good mother?"

"Of course"

"Yeah I think so too...at least I hope" said Yuffie regaining her cheerful mood then going up the stairs.

"_Uh oh next comes mad, I hope nothing happens to set her off_" thought Vincent.

"Vinny" Yuffie called down.

"Yeah"

"Where is the Death Penalty?"

Hearing that instantly made Vincent freeze, "W-W-Why" he tried to remain calm but failed.

"I wanna clean it" she replied.

"Oh my god that was close" whispered Vincent.

"I'll get it for you..." he yelled back up to her.

**September**

_**In the Delivery Room...**_

"Alright Mrs. Valentine just one more push" said the Doctor.

"I...don't...think...I can" said Yuffie between sharp breaths of pain and fatigue.

Vincent squeezed her hand in reassurance giving her the incentive she needed for just one more push, which luckily the doctor was right and that's all it took.

"What do you think we should name her?" asked Yuffie holding their new born daughter.

"Hmm...Trisha?"

"Sounds good to me...Trisha Valentine it is then." Yuffie said looking down at the baby.

"So Vinny...wanna have another" Yuffie asked beaming at him.

He just looked at her like she was crazy, "...no..."

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And it's finally completed. Now to see if it well, and if not then i at least know i did well with Cloud and Tifa. 

In the CloudxTifa portion i put that Tifa had morning sickness at 1 month; well i know someone who is currently 1 month pregnant and going through morning sickness so now i don't know if I should be happy or scared that I got the 1 month thing right...

Don't mind me I'm just rambling

Oh, and i don't know if i have to do this but i've seen it in other fics so i will...I don't own Smells Like Nirvana...there...whether that was necessary or pointless i don't know,but i put it anyway.


	3. Zack's Story

Disclaimer: Damn I hate doing this, but it's the last time so oh well. I don't own Final Fantasy.

I always aim to keep my reviewers happy and at the request of lilmizgrunge I have made a ZackxAeris version of this story. Keep in mind though that i'm not going to write anymore of these because 1.) There are no other pairings i like 2.) This one was hard as hell to write so i probably wouldn't be able to write another one anyway. Well, i hope you enjoy the final part of Tifa's Pregnancy. Read and Review!**

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**August**

"Zack, I think we should start buying things for the baby now instead of waiting until the last minute." Aeris proposed, while she and Zack were driving home from her doctor's appointment.

"Well, I guess we'd better since we already have the money for it. Let's just hold off on clothes until we know if the baby's a boy or a girl." said Zack, turning around and heading in the direction of the mall.

_At the mall: Twenty minutes later_

"We should get this, this, this, one of these, and this" said Aeris going to and from every shelf in the store.

"How about we only get what we'll need, then if we have the money we'll come back some other time and get the extra stuff." Zack stated, trying to convince her that his plan was the best way to go about things.

"But they would look so cute, don't you think?" said Aeris, looking at him with puppy dog eyes.

"Yes, but we've got to be sensible about this."

"Oh come on…please?" Aeris said, making her lower lip quiver giving him the full puppy dog pout.

'_Fight it man! You can't let her get to you!_' Zack thought vigorously trying not to look into her eyes.

_Five minutes later_

"Your total comes to 3000 gil, sir." said the cashier. (Equivalent to 300 dollars)

"Ouch my wallet." Complained Zack, paying the cashier.

"I love you, Zack!" said Aeris pulling him into a hug.

"You better." mumbled Zack.

"What was that!" demanded Aeris, glaring at him.

"I said I love you too" said Zack taking the bags and leaving the store at Aeris' side.

**September**

After a long day of removing furniture from the soon to be nursery, Aeris rested on their black leather couch while Zack was in the kitchen getting ice cream for themselves.

"Vanilla for the lady and Chocolate for you…..wait I mean-"stuttered Zack, causing Aeris to laugh herself to tears.

"Y-Y-You know w-what would go great with this……pickles." laughed Aeris, making Zack look at her like she was crazy.

"It just sounds good is all." said Aeris, regaining her composure.

'_I'll never understand the pregnant women's cravings, nor do I want to_' thought Zack, getting up to get her some…pickles.

**October**

Zack was awakened by a loud retching sound coming from the bathroom. Getting up he made his way to where the sound was coming from to see Aeris hunched over the toilet suffering from morning sickness.

"Are you alright!" asked Zack kneeling beside her.

"Do I look alright! I'm fucking throwing up!" shouted Aeris, after heaving into the toilet once more.

"Your right, I'm sorry. Do you need me to get you something?"

"No, but I want you to leave me alone." Aeris said in an annoyed tone.

"A-A-Alright." whimpered Zack slowly getting up and leaving the room.

'_My god, those mood swings are dangerous._' Thought Zack, going into the kitchen to make himself some coffee.

**November**

"Zack, we got a letter from Cloud and Tifa." called Aeris, handing him the envelope when he reached her.

Removing the letter from the envelope, Zack began to read it.

_Dear Zack and Aeris,_

_Congratulations on the baby! We'd have come out to visit you, but we're a bit tied down right now with our own baby. It's been a while since we've seen each other hasn't it? We should get together once your baby's born. I'm going to have to cut this short Tifa needs my help. She says hi and she's very happy for you._

_Sincerely,_

_The Strife's_

Placing the letter on the table, Zack then turned to his wife. "Well that was nice of them." said Zack, pulling her into a hug and gently kissing her on the lips.

"Yeah. I'll see you in a bit, I'm going to go get dressed." said Aeris making her way up the stairs.

_Ten minutes later_

"My clothes don't fit any more…!" whined Aeris from upstairs, catching Zack's attention.

"Looks like it's time to go clothes shopping…" Zack said to himself, before grabbing his wallet and heading upstairs.

**December**

Waking up early Christmas morning, Aeris found that she was alone in the bed. Sitting up and searching the room she still couldn't find Zack. Just then she could smell the delicious aroma of fresh pancakes and hot chocolate. After dressing, she made her way down to the kitchen, noticing Zack standing by the stove dividing pancakes onto two plates.

"I didn't know you could cook." stated Aeris, walking over and giving him quick peck on the cheek.

"Oh, Merry Christmas! I learned to cook while in SOLDIER." said Zack, handing Aeris a stack of pancakes and a cup of hot chocolate.

After they both ate their pancakes and hot chocolate they walked into the living room and snuggled close to each other, the only light illuminating the room was radiating from their Christmas tree. That's how they stayed for hours sharing a passionate kiss from time to time, watching the gentle snowfall outside the window.

**January**

Deciding to go out to dinner, Zack and Aeris went to their favorite restaurant. After ten minutes of waiting they were finally approached by a waiter who looked like he'd be in his mid thirties. "May I take your order?"

"Yeah, I'll have steak medium-rare and a small salad." said Zack, handing the waiter his menu.

"I'll also have a steak rare, a baked potato, corn, and a small salad. I would also like a slice of that chocolate cake for dessert." Aeris said, giving him her menu as well.

"That's a lot of food isn't it?" the waiter stupidly asked.

"Oh, bad move." muttered Zack, shaking his head.

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!" yelled Aeris, abruptly standing from the table.

"I-I-I just-"The waiter tried to explain, but was cut off by Aeris.

"ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT!"

At this point the waiter was huddled on the ground shaking violently.

"Zack, we're leaving!" shouted Aeris grabbing her purse and storming out the door.

Walking up to the waiter, Zack knelt beside him. "Do you have any kids?" asked Zack, placing his hand on the poor man's shoulder.

He could only shake his head 'no', too shaken to do anything else.

"Got a girlfriend?"

This time the waiter nodded. "Well here's a tip…don't get her pregnant." said Zack getting up and following Aeris.

**February**

"Ughhhhh…" moaned Aeris, sitting down on the couch.

"What's the matter?" asked Zack, looking up from the newspaper.

"I don't think I can handle being pregnant much longer…"

"Come on, I'm sure it's not that bad." said Zack sitting next to her on the couch.

"Not that bad…not that BAD! The mood swings, I can barely sleep at night, the baby keeps kicking, my clothes didn't fit me anymore, the morning sickness, and the list goes on Zack." Droned Aeris, looking at him with a glazed look in her eyes.

"Alright so maybe it's worse than I thought, but it's only for 2 more months." said Zack, scratching the back of his head.

Leaning onto Zack's chest, she blew a stray hair out of her face before giving an agitated sigh. "Yeah…two…months…"

**March**

_**I'm out of ideas so it's time for a "Random Moment!"**_

Sitting on the couch, Zack was watching TV, while Aeris was cleaning behind him.

**_(A/N: This is on the TV)_** "So Nana, I hear today's your birthday. So how many years old are you now?" asked the announcer, holding the microphone up to her mouth.

"Eighty." said 'Nana'.

"Alright, now all you have to do to win is spin this huge, three thousand pound, blood filled contraption and hope it lands on the one dollar sign." said the announcer, as Nana stepped up to the wheel.

**_(A/N: Back to Zack and Aeris) _**"What the heck are you watching!" asked Aeris, after hearing 'blood filled contraption'.

"The Price Is Right."

"Oh." said Aeris, resuming her cleaning.

**April**

"Hang on Aeris, it's almost over." encouraged Zack, holding onto his wife's hand while she was in labor. (A/N: Ouch…)

"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!" shrieked Aeris, giving one final push.

"Congratulations, it's a girl." said the doctor, wrapping the newborn in a pink blanket and handing her to Aeris.

"She's beautiful" said Zack, giving Aeris a kiss on the forehead then turning to admire his daughter.

The baby had light brown hair like her mother, and sapphire eyes like her father.

"What should we name her?" asked Aeris, looking toward Zack.

"How about…Sophia. I've always liked that name."

"Yeah, I like that." said Aeris, watching the infant slowly fall asleep in her arms.

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And it's complete. In my opinion this one wasn't as good as my others, but i'll leave that up to you. On top of running out of ideas I haven't gotten any sleep in the last few days and I'm sick so that didn't help the story either. I hope you enjoyed it anyway. 

Oh, I've read some fics in the past saying how Aeris isn't one to swear. Well just to get that out of the way with this one...She's pregnant...so you'd have to expect it to happen at least once.

The "Random Moment" was inspired by a skit done by Dane Cook.


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